Nine Years In The Blink Of An Eye!

My first born son turns 9 today. How did that happen? It seems like only yesterday that I was having my last OB check and being told nothing was happening and to come back next week. The very next morning things started happening. I woke at 6:30 to severe abdominal cramping. Because I had been suffering from constipation during the latter part of my pregnancy I was sure I just needed to poop! I had just been at the Doctor's the day before, after all, and he had told me that NOTHING was happening. Besides, these didn't feel like "The Book" said they should. I sent My Honey off to work and settled myself in the bathroom and waited for "it" to pass. LOL! A bit later I decided that "it" needed a bit of help and gave myself an enema. Let me tell you, it is no easy feat for a 9 month pregnant woman to give herself an enema. Sheesh! I can barely reach "back there" when I am not pregnant! The enema had zero results. I was in so much pain and there did not seem to be any timing to the cramping. They did not come on slowly or have evenly spaced periods of rest between them. It was just constant cramping. My SIL called me and with her well earned wisdom (she has 4 children) told me I was in labor. I disagreed. I continued to alternate between the tub, the toilet, and the floor, determined that I just really needed to poop! I did this until until almost 9am, when I could no longer take it, then called My Honey and asked him to come home. I was still sure I was just constipated but I was in enough pain that I was willing to take a trip to the hospital to be checked out. It was difficult to get down the stairs to the van and once inside I put the seat all the way back with my feet up on the dash. My Honey kept telling me "You better not push out the windshield!" Apparently my feet were touching the windshield. Who knew? I just knew he needed to drive faster and screw the windshield! We arrived at the hospital and they quickly had me in a room. I asked to use the bathroom before they hooked me up to any wires or checked me and lo and behold.....my mucus plug came out. Hmmm? Maybe this WAS the real thing! When they checked me I was already at 5 cm. WOW! Who'da thunk it? By noon I was up to 10 cm but my Little Man was in distress. He was crushing his umbilical cord and his heart rate was dropping dangerously low. I am ever thankful for my oblivious state at this point in time. It seems that everyone else in the room knew how dire the situation was except me. Later my mom told me how my OB had run out into the hall and demanded to have an operating room cleared for me. She said that there had been a woman on her way in for a scheduled c-section that they actually brought back out so they could take me in. My sister, who was in the room with me told me that the anesthesiologist had a syringe full of meds behind his back ready to knock me out if needed. They were prepared to do an emergency c-section right then and there. Thankfully, my OB and a few nurses were able to adjust Little Man's position and mine enough to get his umbilical cord free and his heart rate back up. They also gave me a shot which stopped my labor completely. At that point, having managed to get my little guy out of the danger zone, the decision was made to allow him and me to rest for a bit. As long as he was doing well we could avoid a c-section. My rest ended up lasting quite a while and my contractions did not return full force until late afternoon. Since Little Man seemed to be doing much better my OB allowed me to start to push. I pushed my heart out for nearly 2 hours. My OB asked me several times if I wanted to stop and go for the c-section. Little Man just did not seem to want to make his entrance. I was so determined to have a vaginal birth and I was grateful that my OB was doing everything in his power to allow me just that. But after 2 1/2 hours of pushing my OB finally told me that enough was enough. Little Man was beginning to show stress again and I was exhausted! At 7:30 pm we headed into the OR and Little Man was born at 7:47 pm. He was just perfect! I was disappointed to have had a c-section but grateful to have a healthy baby boy. After his birth we were able to see just why he would not come out. He had a huge bruise and lump on his forehead. It seems he had his head hyper extended and was trying to emerge face first instead of crown first. I guess he just wanted to see where he was going.

Since that time he has been such a joy to me!
He is my lover child. He loves to cuddle up on my lap and just talk.
He is my sensitive child. He often is concerned for other's welfare.
He is my strong willed child. He likes to be right and loves to have the last word.
He is my inquisitive child. The questions from him NEVER cease.

I cannot imagine life without him. I can hardly remember what my life was like before him. He was the answer to my prayers and my greatest dream come true. For my entire childhood I always wanted to be a mother. I had a few short periods when I wanted to be "The Tooth Fairy" or a teacher but my real dream was to be a mother. The most awesome part about it is that all three of those dreams came true!
I will be honest and admit that my reality is not exactly like my dreams. The job is MUCH, MUCH harder than I ever could have imagined. But the rewards are greater as well.

Nine years! Half way to an adult! How can that be? I wish I could turn back the clock and start over. There are already so many things I would do differently. I know I have already made mistakes. Sometimes I ask God "Why did you give this precious, little life to me?" I know there are other women out there who are more patient, more consistent, more organized, more attentive,.....just MORE! But I know that God does not make mistakes. In His infinite wisdom He chose me! I pray that I have not already screwed up too badly. I pray that Little Man knows how much I love him. I pray that someday he will understand my shortcomings. I pray that God will mold me into EXACTLY the mom that my Little Man needs. I pray that I can teach him and expose him to all that he needs to know to have a wonderful, productive life. I pray that even in 9 more years, he will still be my Little Man who loves to cuddle up on my lap and just talk.

I love you Little Man! Happy 9th Birthday!

Tears....:(

It is with sadness that I report that my female mantis has passed away. After my last update, I waited anxiously to see if she would make an egg case. After two weeks of waiting I made the decision to put the male and female together again, thinking that it had not "taken" the first time. Almost immediately the two hooked up and stayed that way for a good 24 hours. When they finally separated I moved the female back into her own cage. It was at this time that I noticed that she had a sizable hole in the side of her abdomen right about where the head of the male would have been while he was with her. Apparently the male was snacking on her during mating. :( From everything I have researched and read, I have not yet once found anything that mentions the male eating the female during mating. It is always the other way around. It was this past Friday that I discovered her injury and she fought and held on until late this afternoon, 5 full days. I feel rather silly about how sad I feel over the death of an insect but she was beautiful and I have so enjoyed watching her grow. The boys were quite sad as well. She will be missed.
So all of this to say that we will not be seeing our life cycle project go full circle after all. It has been an exciting and awesome journey. The boys have already asked if I will buy a new egg case and do it all again next year. We will have to wait and see.

July 4th

It seems that every year on July fourth I am on a mission to find the perfect location from which to watch the fireworks display. All the usual places around town offer a great view but there is simply NOTHING like being directly underneath the display and feeling the ground shake beneath you. I experienced this twice prior to having kids, once in El Segundo where they put on an AWESOME fireworks show and you can lay right in the middle of the streets around the center town park and look up at the display, and once at Torrance Park when I was a kid. Thus far, I have not been able to replicate that experience for my kids and although they enjoy watching the show each year, they really have never been in AWE. That changed this year. First off, we did something that we have never done before. We bought a few fireworks in Las Vegas and brought them home to do here in our own yard. Due to ALL fireworks being illegal here, we have never had them at our disposal. This year My Honey just happened to return from a business trip on the 3rd of July and he flew into Las Vegas. On his way out of town he stopped at a corner stand and bought a few sparklers and fountains. The kids thought this was the coolest thing ever! Muffin Man was afraid of the sparklers at first but once he got the hang of it he would have done them all night if we had not run out. The following night we drove down to Laughlin, to the Avi Resort and Casino. I had heard they give a GREAT show so we thought we would check it out. We we able to get a nice spot on the grass along the river. They shoot the display off from the opposite side of the river and the river is not all that wide in this area. Essentially, they explode right over your head! Oh My Goodness! For the first time ever, The boys were mesmerized! Little Man kept saying the ground was shaking and Muffin Man did not once ask if it was almost over! The whole thing was choreographed to patriotic music and it was just beautiful. I am so glad we decided to make the drive and I know that we will head up there again for future July 4th celebrations. I have included a number of pictures. There are a few of the boys both at home doing sparklers and at the river with the obligatory $5 glow sticks, and a few shots of the fireworks themselves. I was just playing with my camera to see how they would come out and some of them are really beautiful. Anyway, enjoy and God Bless America!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Neat Article About Homeschooling

I read this article on a homeschooling message board I belong to and I think it is so true. Just another reason I believe in homeschooling.


Homeschooling's Socialization Snobs
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Written by Patrice Lewis*

© 2008

Note: This column includes adult language.

Ask any homeschooling parent why they homeschool, and you're likely to receive as many different replies as there are families. Some of the common reasons include religious freedom, academic improvement, one-on-one tutoring and increased family closeness.

But for us, the single biggest reason we school at home correlates to the single biggest criticism homeschoolers get: socialization. Yes, it's largely due to the "socialization" children get in public schools that convinced us to homeschool.

Homeschooling allows us to be socialization snobs. We can filter out kids whose behavior offends us. We don't discriminate on the basis of race, creed, nation of origin, or other such nonsense. No, we discriminate on the basis of morals. If your kid insists on talking about the number of boys she slept with in the last month, I really don't want her around my kid. Call me fussy.

It's been said that too many rats locked up together in too small a cage will soon start tearing into each other. Same with kids. Schools force children to associate with other children based strictly on age. They are locked into cages containing dozens of rats … er, kids with one powerless and overworked teacher who is expected to be psychologist, counselor, nanny, babysitter and, oh yeah, teacher all rolled into one.


Manners are not expected and certainly not reinforced. If one child gets snarky with another, the other children encourage him until the snarkiness turns to meanness, which often leads to violence. This is the breeding ground for public school socialization.

I've been to homeschooling groups with up to 30 kids ranging from older teens to newborns. Everyone associates with everyone. Teens dandle babies. Twelve-year-olds play gentle tag with 5-year-olds. If one child gets snarky with another, there are five or six moms (as well as older kids) around to see the bad behavior and instantly correct it, so it seldom gets out of hand. Manners are expected and reinforced. This is the breeding ground for homeschooling socialization.

Why is this concept so difficult for the critics to grasp? I don't get it. I don't get it at all.

Recently, my husband came across a blog entry by a middle-school teacher that was so shocking that he waited until our kids were out of the room before calling me over to read it.

The blog entry [warning: obscene language] related a conversation this teacher overheard as she left school one afternoon. She passed a group of several boys and one girl (about 13) waiting for the bus. One of the boys had a plate of cookies. The teacher heard the girl say, "I'll give you a blow job for one of those cookies."

(Pause for a moment to marvel at how the heck a 13-year-old girl even knows what a blow job is.)

My husband e-mailed the teacher and expressed sympathy for the toughness of her job. The woman e-mailed back a weary verbal shrug and said it was all in a day's work.

Yes, all in a day's work to hear a child offer an intimate sex act in exchange for baked goods. And what does "all in a day's work" imply? That this type of social interaction is nothing unusual. Pretty typical, in fact. The teacher was just as horrified as we were, but she saw no solution. And people still have the gall to criticize homeschoolers for their … socialization skills? Or to criticize us for our parental desire to protect against this kind of exposure? I don't get it.

OK, so meanness, lack of manners and precocious sexualization are some of the "socializing" factors rampant in public schools. What about peer pressure and bullying?

We all remember bullying from our own school days. The fear of gym class. The avoidance of certain parts of campus such as the cafeteria, bathrooms or locker areas. The stomach-clenching dread of facing yet another day in which you were teased, threatened, snubbed or beaten up.

Kids have it tough. The desire to conform to peers is strong – strong enough to overcome parental influences, particularly when those parents are removed (by choice or by state) from being active in their children's lives. But even the children of good, involved parents can get mixed up with the wrong crowd at school simply because they desperately want to fit in. If you're not bouncy and pretty (as a girl) or athletic and handsome (as a boy), then you'll do whatever it takes to be accepted by the bouncy/pretty/athletic/handsome types, even if those types are bad influences in other respects.

"Homeschooling" implies that someone is at home. There are no latchkey kids. There are no after-school hours of "free time" before mom gets off work during which a 14-year-old with burgeoning hormones can get in trouble. Homeschooled kids are guided through the time of life when they have adult bodies but childish minds, a time when they can mature into competent adults or descend into horrifying mistakes. And yet people still have the gall to express concern over homeschoolers' … socialization.

Homeschooled kids don't live in a vacuum. While their publicly schooled peers are locked in a classroom for most of the daylight hours, homeschooled kids are out interacting with adults and children, picking up useful, well, socialization skills. And remember, one of the chief purposes of education is to teach children to become adults – productive, mature adults that contribute to society.

Academics are important, and studies demonstrate that homeschooled kids excel in this area. But there's more to life than academics, and that's one of the "balance" things homeschooled children learn in abundance. These are things like faith, honor, morals, patriotism, volunteerism, responsibility, family values, self-control and citizenship.

We sometimes hear the criticism that we cannot duplicate the benefits schools offer children, whether it's sports or music or chemistry labs. To which I reply, "You're right. We cannot duplicate your environment. We are merely trying to exceed your results."

Especially the results of socialization.

*Patrice Lewis is co-founder of Don Lewis Designs. She and her husband have been in business for 14 years. The Lewises live on 40 acres in north Idaho with their two homeschooled children, assorted livestock and a shop that overflows into the house with depressing regularity. Visit patricelewis.com.

****Mantis Update!****

Just 24 hours after my last post I found one of my male mantids dead. I am not sure whether he died of natural causes or was killed by the other male. He was for the most part intact but did have a number of chew marks on him. However, when I found him he was being eaten by a few of the crickets in the cage so I am not sure if any of the chew marks came from the other male or not. Regardless, I decided that it was time to put the last male and female together and see what would happen. I fed the female well to make her less apt to eat the male (common during mating) and transfered her to the male's cage. From what followed, I can only guess she had a raging case of Mantis PMS! The male showed immediate interest in her and she wanted NOTHING to do with him. He was acting like your average enamored teenage boy and LITERALLY throwing himself at her and she seemed quite determined to eat him if she got the chance. He kept approaching her from the front and more than once she managed to get ahold of him and seemed ready to take a bite. I would spritz a bit of water on them to separate them and then he would throw himself right back in her grip. Considering that she cannot catch a cricket due to her deformity, he sure made himself easy prey for her. After an hour of watching his clumsy attempts at mantis love I removed her from the cage and put her back on her own. I placed the two cages flush against one another so that the two could see and smell each other and gave them a few more days apart. This morning, I fed the female well and again placed her in the male's cage. Once again, within moments he would not leave her alone. I decided that I needed to throw caution to the wind and allow nature to take it's course, come what may. I placed the cage well away from movement and the daily ruckus of the household, covered it with a towel and went about my day. This evening when I peeked in on the little lovebirds I found them joined in a little mantis embrace!!! WOOHOO! I can't believe it! From what we have read during our studies, this mating session can go on for 24 hours or more. The longer they stay together the better the chances of a successful outcome. I am planning on leaving them undisturbed as much as possible for a few days and then I will again separate them. I am so excited. I will keep you updated as things progress.

For those of you interested in my children more than my insects (LOL), I will be posting a few updates on our recent activities in the next few days. We continue to be busy with school, playdates, bowling, swimming and karate. The boys are just LOVING karate and I am delighted in the skills they have learned in just a short time.

Much love to all of you and thanks for reading. Now go leave me a comment! teehee.